I will always openly admit that I was terrified of having an open adoption in the beginning. I wanted to be the mommy and didn’t want to share. I was worried he would love her more.
Jack was born, we all signed papers, life moved forward and I was quick to realize how foolish my fears had been. He was my son…and her son. The pieces all fell into place and over the years we have become a family that I am extremely grateful for.
As he has gotten older we have read books about adoption and mentioned it a few times. However, we have been careful not to press the issue until the time was right. Jack is a very verbal child and I knew he would talk about it when he was ready.
Today at lunch he must have felt ready. Gigi was mentioning someone we know who is pregnant and Jack piped up and said “I didn’t grow in Mommy’s tummy”. I asked who’s tummy he grew in and he replied correctly. He then said “So, she’s my real mom”.
Five years ago, in the midst of heartbreak, that statement might have broken me.
Today, I smiled and told him that he was super lucky because he has two mommies that love him more than anything in the world. That she is his birth mom and I’m his forever mommy. That he grew in her tummy and in my heart at the same time. He said he really liked her and I assured him that was good.
I told him there are lots of different ways to make of family. None of them wrong, as long as you are safe and loved.
He smiled happily and then went back to his pasta.
Today I feel proud. Proud of the woman who made him and selflessly gave him to us. Proud of us for knowing there was room in our hearts, not only for him, but for her too. And most of all, proud of the amazing little boy we’ve raised.
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